I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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