WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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