Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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