I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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