why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
