You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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