If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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