i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
