After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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