Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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