I intend to get homeless drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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