Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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