I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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