His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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