"it" just moved
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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