you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
