he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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