Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I cut my penus on the lid.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My penis needs a shock collar
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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