i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
