hell yes lets make some ravioli
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize