Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i barfeds in our rink
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
