1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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