I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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