Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
