I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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