Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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