I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
