It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
