She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
