One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
