Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
