I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
