My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize