I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
