well most of my day revolves around power hour
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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