Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants 0. Shit 1.

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  (269): Pants 0. Shit 1. http://tfl.nu/y752
  Replies (8) Good night (1071) Bad night (3450)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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  (760): What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch? http://tfl.nu/c2lm
  Replies (30) Good night (5452) Bad night (870)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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  (832): i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!! http://tfl.nu/co2h
  Replies (28) Good night (5624) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....

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  (973): She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it. (201): Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella.... http://tfl.nu/9xtz
  Replies (18) Good night (6060) Bad night (2223)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.

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  (847): 2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck. http://tfl.nu/qowh
  Replies (8) Good night (7025) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.

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  (832): Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room. http://tfl.nu/mk1e
  Replies (7) Good night (2725) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.

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  (407): Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season. http://tfl.nu/9ccu
  Replies (5) Good night (1588) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.

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  (206): The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry. http://tfl.nu/174k
  Replies (12) Good night (736) Bad night (2387)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.

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  (901): oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home. http://tfl.nu/ixn7
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

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  (904): I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing. http://tfl.nu/6kf7
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".

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  (616): The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag". http://tfl.nu/vc6w
  Replies (2) Good night (418) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn

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  (717): You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn http://tfl.nu/rxu4
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.

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  (260): I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then. http://tfl.nu/hywk
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

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  (208): He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. http://tfl.nu/pajk
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.

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  (206): Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer. http://tfl.nu/p121
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (520)

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