he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me