best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz