Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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