if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is wine microwaveable?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
