just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We need to get me chipped asap
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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