I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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