Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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