We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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