I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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