i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize