can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
