I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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