Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
