he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
