we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
