I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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