More tranny stories later!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌