how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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