saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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