Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
