I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
