He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
