he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
