It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
