Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
