some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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