Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.