then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.