all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.