he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
high people should be assigned attendants
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.