dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
