No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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