At least make sure they are 18
Why
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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